Planning Ahead - An Analogy.

Hi - I’m Alex. I play the role of husband to The Abled Disabled. When I’m not busy husbanding, I also play the role of a carer, although it’s strangely never felt like it.

I’ve always viewed the concept of a carer as someone who is employed, and brought in to help and assist someone with difficulties. I’m neither employed as a carer nor come over especially to assist with disability requirements. I simply help Steph when things get tough, which I would have assumed everyone who has family, a partner, or a friend, would do. So, in a sense, we’re all carers!

Oasis (yes,somehow I’ve brought Oasis in to this) famously sung (at least for me) “Life is a game we play”. When we play games, in order to get good, you start thinking ahead of yourself. Planning your next move, your next few moves, to ensure you keep your health/stamina/pieces all OK. Without even realising, since Steph became diagnosed and symptoms of MS cropped up, I’ve been thinking ahead to ensure Steph’s health/stamina/pieces all remain as OK as possible. It’s interesting how the world seems a lot larger, and a lot less flat, when dealing with a disability.

We’ve both learned the hard way when you’re playing a game and think “sod it”, and you just run straight in without thinking. Sometimes you’re lucky, but generally ‘Sod’s Law’ will get you. We’ve gone to places without a wheelchair before, thinking “oh, it’ll be fine”, then only upon arriving realising just how much walking there actually is to do... A-B suddenly becomes A-B-C-D-E.

We’ve gone to places with a wheelchair, and then found out upon arrival that there’s no elevator out of the car park… The only way to progress in this game now would be to take a hit to your health, go through the obstacle, and out the other side. I guess this is where the gaming analogy ends, as we forgot to pack any apples or chicken legs for Steph to regain her health on the other side.

Of course, planning ahead is something we all do. I guess this piece is more of a realisation of just how much planning we do without realising, and a shout out to all the extra planning we have to do have to cope with life’s obstacles.