A few months ago (well, quite a few more months than that to be honest now), I wrote an angry post. It wasn't mock anger, it was white hot at the time.
I was furious at the world for being so inaccessible to my fellow MSers and me. I moaned about how I can't get to places. I practically shouted at those who didn't take my disability into account in every aspect of their planning.
I look back at it now and it upsets me to read it. I was clearly having a very bad few months, as it is definitely no one's fault. I read it and I can feel the pain of it (please bear with me).
I almost posted version 1.0. Many times. But something always held me back. For months. It was the happy part of me, I see that now. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I still feel such anger and upset at my situation I can't breathe. This is not limited to me by far. We all have hurt. We all have anger. And me dumping mine onto others to feel better would have done the complete opposite.
The things I said in version 1.0 are still true, let's be honest. However, I don't want to push it down my reader's throats. I never did, hence why I never posted it. It's never been me. Sure I'm loud, but what's the point? I want to use my loud drama filled voice for good, not evil.
So, what is the point of posting about a post? Well, a lot to be honest. I still have version 1.0, and people are welcome to read it. What I say in there is indeed true, but it does not come from a happy place. This post does not 100% come from a happy place either, but I have better clarity now.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hadn't given up writing, I'd just taken a (long) break. It's not about cheering the hell up. It's not about thinking 'oh there are others worse than me'. It's about stepping out of my unhappy hole, taking a look at the world, and realising sure, it's small, but it's mine.
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